I have a longing I cannot place today. It consumes me from within, I drag along thinking of Johnny, of my new life that is on its way... But also of my parents. Have I done so wrong that we will never be the same? I was so blind. It would have been so much better if the secrets were left out.... then they would never have to have been revealed. They tell me time and time again, no hiding, no lying, but i am afraid of how they will react again. All the sneaking around has destroyed their trust in me, and now im paying for it. I can only hope that in time the damages can be repaired and someday they can see how happy I am with Johnny, and maybe they can be happy for me.